Wednesday, November 13, 2013

the (not so fine) art of dating while wearing a wig / battling alopecia / sporting bald spots.

i wish i could say that dating and being bald-ish was something i was good at - or even remotely comfortable with - but it isn't. although it has made for some great / awkward situations. when my alopecia areata started getting really bad about 6 months ago, it happened at the same time that my long-term boyfriend and i split up. the timing of it all was so bad it was actually comedic (in a sad way). we split up and i pretty much immediately had to get a wig (although i'd already been shopping for one). i'm not saying the two were related, but it meant going through a lot of loss at the same time. the loss of a relationship and the loss of my hair and confidence.

the amazing news is that hair loss and the end of a relationship, are not the end of the world. although it can feel like it is, it's best to ignore that feeling, cause that feeling doesn't know what's up. i've been out with a few guys who insisted they didn't care. i've been out with a few guys who pretended to not care, but i think they actually might have. and i've been out with a few guys who were definitely uncomfortable with it. i'd actually been on a bunch of dates (more than 10) with one guy who was never comfortable enough to see what was (or wasn't) under my wig and who seemed to think i should spend all our time together wearing the wig, so as to not burden his eyes with the painful sting of my patchy baldness. that one definitely didn't work out.

i've surveyed a few of my good friends about how i should broach the subject of alopecia with my dates, and the general consensus was that i should mention it when the moment felt right. i've found that there is never really a moment that feels right to tell someone that i'm wearing a wig because i currently have the worlds largest female combover. i'm an open book, so for me personally, i'd rather be honest with people about it from the beginning. i usually try to bring it up within the first couple of dates. if someone compliments me on my hair, i'll use that as a segue into wig-ville.

more than anything, i wanted other single people struggling with alopecia, or any kind of hair loss, to know that they aren't alone and that confidence comes from within. having a full head of hair would really help, but this is a chance to showoff your other amazing qualities (like your eyes, or your ability to juggle flaming bowling pins...) and be confident with who you are. one of the best pieces of advice / insight i've received in the last year, is that there's more to me than my hair. if there's more to me than my hair, then the same must apply to you. love yourself and be happy with what you do have - the rest will fall into place*.

*i'm not psychic, so i can't say this with complete certainty. 

1 comment:

  1. I just found your blog and love it! I've been dealing with AA for almost 3 years and I have had lots of luck with steroid shots and regrowth. The only problem is I get flare ups the same time every year...I have regrowth during spring and summer but new spots in fall and winter.

    I have one trick that I came up with to cover the spots. I found soooooo many pricey cover up creams and powders which I spent WAY too much money on. Then I decided to try brown liquid cream eyeliner and color in the spots. I tried pencils and they worked as well but the cream eyeliner looked a little neater and covered more. Just an amazing alternative that works just as good, doesn't wash off in the rain or swimming and is much cheaper!!